Often times I see new students get frustrated when they cannot immediately perfect a new yoga pose they are learning. So I often explain that yoga is like dating. Here’s how:

When you first start dating someone, generally you take the time to get to know that person over a series of dates, or encounters if you will. For your first date, you might meet over a cup of coffee or tea. For the second date, you might have lunch together. Then the third date might be a dinner date. As your relationship progresses, you might meet the parents, go on a vacation together, get engaged, and eventually – maybe – get married or commit to one another. Usually you don’t get married on the first date, or even the second or third – you go through a process of getting to know one another and deciding if this is the person for you. And although it’s been known to happen, you don’t have to go all the way on the first date.

So the same can be true when you are learning a new yoga pose. The first time you and the pose “meet,” you might just casually get to know one another over a brief encounter – like having coffee. Then, for the second date you and the pose might spend a little more time together and go a little further – like having lunch. Eventually, and there’s no real solid timetable for this, you might go all the way. Alternatively, you may never go all the way – you might realize that the pose is not for you and decide to not “date” it any longer, or you might decide that all you want from the pose is an ongoing casual relationship (coffee).

So here’s some friendly advice for dating a yoga pose:

• Only go as far as you are comfortable going – don’t let any one pressure you into “going all the way.”
• If you really want to date a pose, you need to put some effort into it. Think about what you want out of the “relationship” and be prepared for possible “rejection.”
• Be realistic about which poses you choose to have a relationship with. On the other hand, you never know until you try!
• Take time off if it is not going well.
• Enjoy the process - there’s no hurry to “seal the deal.”

In summary, there are no universal fail-proof tricks or magic for “mastering” a new yoga pose. With some poses you might click immediately, some may take some time, and some just might never really do it for you. Just breathe, take your time, and enjoy the journey!